Not sure where to begin. This is legitimately the worst place we’ve ever stayed, and that’s saying something.When we arrived, the vacuum, broom, and mop were sitting in the dining room. The TV was unplugged, with no outlet nearby, so we had to plug it into an outlet in a lamp on the fireplace mantle. Nothing says vacation like troubleshooting the electrical layout just to watch TV.The bathroom featured a pube on the toilet seat and dried pee on the outside of the bowl. So much for clean!There’s a hot tub, but no door to the backyard. You have to exit through the front door and walk all the way around the house. Consider it a complimentary cardio session with your hot tub.The living room curtain rod was falling out of the wall. The washer and dryer area looked like a renovation abandoned mid-project, with torn drywall and exposed studs. No door, no curtain, just unfinished construction. There may be a “coffee bar,” but there were no filters.Some listing photos also appear to have been AI-enhanced, which is fitting because the property seems to exist in a different reality online.The place desperately needs cleaning, repairs, and attention to detail. We came for a vacation, not a home improvement show. Look elsewhere.And what was up with a quarter on the floor in every room?